I dropped the ball a little today. Maybe more than a little, but not as badly as I have at some points in the past.
I had to go for my thyroid ultrasound today, to investigate the problems that have cropped up recently. I was nervous about going, so before I went over to the diagnostic place I grabbed a small (413 mL?) bottle of Pepsi and a Strawberry Shortcake muffin from Tim Hortons. I drank about 1/2 the bottle and ate the muffin, felt less nervous, and went to go get ‘er done.
Spent the procedure looking at a screen upon which many wavy lines were floating, with jelly all over my neck and a viewing wand pushed into my throat. Having just been sick, I’m still coughing, so resisting that while she was imaging was hard. Then she wouldn’t tell me anything, so I got nervous and sad again.
On the way back to the office I got a Mint Chocolate Chip YogenFruz, small. I ate it slowly, not truly enjoying it because mint yogurt is kind of sour-sweet gross. I also asked for a gummi-bear because they were cute and they cheered me up in an odd way, and she gave me 5. So I ate those too.
As soon as I threw out the YogenFruz container, the regret started. That was when I realized that this was the first truly emotional eating I had done in awhile. Most of my excess eating is from boredom, but this was purely from sadness and worry.
How counterproductive this was is really bothering me, and now I’m kicking myself for falling backwards. Even if it was for a “good” reason at the time, I think of how my weight is probably making the thyroid worse, and I’m just feeding the monster.
Can I get a do-over for today please??