True Emotional Eating

I dropped the ball a little today.  Maybe more than a little, but not as badly as I have at some points in the past.

I had to go for my thyroid ultrasound today, to investigate the problems that have cropped up recently.  I was nervous about going, so before I went over to the diagnostic place I grabbed a small (413 mL?) bottle of Pepsi and a Strawberry Shortcake muffin from Tim Hortons.  I drank about 1/2 the bottle and ate the muffin, felt less nervous, and went to go get ‘er done.

Spent the procedure looking at a screen upon which many wavy lines were floating, with jelly all over my neck and a viewing wand pushed into my throat.  Having just been sick, I’m still coughing, so resisting that while she was imaging was hard.  Then she wouldn’t tell me anything, so I got nervous and sad again.

On the way back to the office I got a Mint Chocolate Chip YogenFruz, small.  I ate it slowly, not truly enjoying it because mint yogurt is kind of sour-sweet gross.  I also asked for a gummi-bear because they were cute and they cheered me up in an odd way, and she gave me 5.  So I ate those too.

As soon as I threw out the YogenFruz container, the regret started.  That was when I realized that this was the first truly emotional eating I had done in awhile.  Most of my excess eating is from boredom, but this was purely from sadness and worry.

How counterproductive this was is really bothering me, and now I’m kicking myself for falling backwards.  Even if it was for a “good” reason at the time, I think of how my weight is probably making the thyroid worse, and I’m just feeding the monster.

Can I get a do-over for today please??

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Reflection and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to True Emotional Eating

  1. Nicole says:

    I like that you’ve shared your thoughts openly here. I think that’s really a positive step of progress. You can’t undo what’s been done — but you can learn from it and move on. And you will! 🙂

    Nicole from http://originaleyes.wordpress.com

  2. Violent Violet says:

    This is a good step! You realized that you ate something out of emotional and physical stress. Next time you may be more conscientious of your food-decisions!

  3. sagelit says:

    Heh, that’s the hardest part of this. I have always known when I messed up, I just didn’t care. Now I care, and I just get more sad! Today is a new day, and I start over.

  4. I read your previous post about your thyroid. I am hoping that your doctor is talking to you about the different causes of thyroid disease. It isn’t just your eating habits or lack thereof. Stress, environmental issues, heredity. and other things can all can play a factor.
    I apologize if you already know this stuff but your thyroid regulates so many functions of your body.
    When I first went in for thyroid testing my TSH was 113 (values should be ..47 – 4.68). My doctor said that he had never met anyone with a TSH in the triple digits. That was back in 2011.
    Each case of thyroidism is different and should be treated as such.
    I tell you this to implore you to research and not to completely rely on the doctors to tell you how to handle your health.
    Ok.. I will get off of my soap box. Good luck in your journey and I hope your test results come out in your favor.

    • sagelit says:

      No, my doctor was absolutely telling me that being overweight was not part of why it was happening (though he still doesn’t know why). I just find it difficult to believe that my body being in an unhealthy state has nothing to do with it getting more unhealthy, you know?

  5. Katie says:

    I’ve gone through the thyroid ultrasound too. Isn’t it just amazingly uncomfortable to have that wand pushed into your throat? I went because my gland suddenly swelled up, making it difficult for me to swallow. It felt like an allergic reaction that just never went away. I was lucky, the first thing the guy doing the ultrasound said was, “I see nothing cancerous here.” About four times. He must have known why I was there. As it turns out, I was under-medicated for hypothyroidism. Several women in my family have it and I’ve been diagnosed for years, but survived on “the average dose” that was clearly not enough. Basically my thyroid got “annoyed” after being pushed to produce stuff it doesn’t want to produce. After a dosage increase the swelling in the throat has gone, I feel tons better – and the few pounds I had struggled to get off went, literally within weeks.

    Point about all that is, it could be a chicken and egg situation. What came first, the added weight or the unstable thyroid? I found, when I was wrongly medicated, that my emotional state was all over the place and I was often tempted to devour sh*t that was full of fat, salt, carbs etc. At the end of the day, we’re talking about a hormone here. I think we all know, as women, what unstable hormones are like before/during periods etc. Now that my levels are stable, I don’t even get PMS anymore and I used to have literally one week a month where I felt relatively normal (the 2 weeks of PMS + 1 week of period being hell on wheels). No crying and no untimely outbursts. And cravings… now I only get them the day before my period starts and that’s pretty much it.

    Bottom line: Stabilising the thyroid *could* make it just a little bit easier to reach your goal of a healthier body. I wish you the best of luck! 🙂

    • sagelit says:

      Thank you so much for the encouragement. It’s really bothering me lately, especially as I don’t have any control over it 😦

      • Katie says:

        I really do know the feeling. I went through hell trying to get used to the hormones to begin with. I have hyper-sensitivity to ANY hormones and it took me a good two and a half years to feel vaguely normal. Whenever I increased my dosage I’d get absolutely insane symptoms of hyperthyroidism, over a long period of time, which made one newly educated doctor suggest that I “probably” had a brain tumor – and that he could get me an MRI scan in 8 months. Riiight. Then I saw a proper specialist, had umpteen tests, rules out all the bad sh*t and it finally got better. Until it didn’t earlier this year. If you want to chat privately, to ask questions or just vent, you’ve got my email there!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s